


Maybe Someday

by Lex130120



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:49:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26819818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lex130120/pseuds/Lex130120
Summary: What if the commanders were able to transcend? The flame may have been destroyed but the information on it never was. This is a rewrite of the 100 finale (mostly the clexa scenes) because I think they missed a lot of opportunities with the finale. It will have the same ideas (characters still transcend), but some aspects will change as well as showing what their newfound peace will look like. Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters this is my adaptation on an alternate ending for the 100.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 45
Kudos: 180





	1. Chapter 1

(Clarke's POV)

I can't stop pacing, Cadogan is finally dead and the so called judge vaporised so what is happening? I just want to get to Madi, the test is over, it has to be because I cannot do this. 

"Why am I still here?!"

"You know why."

No........it can't be. I have dreamt about that voice for years now. I hold my breath and slowly turn around to face them. Oh my god. She is exactly as I remember her, soft eyes surrounded by war paint, a perfect straight stance, her back as straight and strong as a pole. She is exactly as I remember yet somehow still different, a little more detached and cold. Still I cannot stop the tears instantly pooling in my eyes as I run and fling myself into her arms, whispering "Lexa" like a prayer to myself. 

As soon as our bodies collide it hits me, this is the judge, she's not my Lexa.......I should probably let go but I can't bring myself to do it. Whether this is the real Lexa or not, she's here in my arms once again and right now I could not be happier.

"I'm not her Clarke."

"I know".

It takes every single bit of strength that I have left to release her and once I do I instantly regret it. Looking in to her eyes, I see the absence of love that I once recognised, now there is nothing. This isn't my Lexa, she may look like her but they are nothing like her.

"The test isn't over?"

"No. I'm sorry we can't stop what's been set in motion." 

The love in her eyes may have vanished, but the softness in her voice is still there, she only ever used it around me, it is not something I could ever forget.

"Your species must now be judged, through you".

I can't do this, I slowly lower my gaze, I can't keep looking in to her eyes, it's like she's there but she's still gone. I have done so many awful things, how am I meant to pass this test? I see her slowly walk towards the pool of blood and kneel down and force myself to face her.

"This man was unarmed, no threat to you yet you killed him. Why?"

"He killed my daughter".

"Is Madi dead?" 

She turns to face me as I answer and with this my throat tightens.

"No, but she will be, because of him".

"So your need for revenge is more important than the fate of the entire human race?"

I feel my anger begin to slowly rise but still do my best to squash it down.

"It's not revenge, it's justice".

"Clarke", she almost whispers, at least the way she says my name has not changed.

"thonbluma ona noda tagon seimwe laik", she turns to face me and pauses, "jus drein jus daun".

Those words hit me like a rock tears once again form in my eyes.

"You don't know my pain".

With those words something within her seems to click.

"You are wrong, during the test I sense every part of you. I'm feeling your pain right now. Not only that but I have the memories of the person that the subject chooses".

With that I can't help but hold my breath, and she sees that.

"You and Lexa overcame everything together, even after she betrayed you. Do you know how much that decision broke her? She cried every night that you were missing, and how did you repay her? You spat in her face. She did everything for you, gave up everything she had learnt since she was a child because she knew you would never forgive her if she killed your people even though they had killed hundreds of her own people. What was it she said? Blood must not have blood?"

At those words I fall to my knees, the pain far too great to stand.

"However", at this I slowly look up, "she did not just do this because she loved you, she didn't want to kill. You gave her that chance to change the traditions, she would have passed the test. Pain breeds pain and that is not justice Clarke, she taught you that so tell me, what changed?"

I slowly rise to my feet and stare into her eyes, begging her to understand.

"You say you feel my pain? Really? So feel me holding Lexa as she dies. Feel me seeing someone else wear my mother's face. Feel me murder my best friend to protect my daughter only to have her die anyway. Feel that! You show up in the form of the woman I loved and for what?! (that line was in the script but it got cut) You believe that it will be easier for me to admit to what I have done?! You are no better than me, you annihilate entire species because they don't live up to your ideals!"

"I am sorry for all that you have lost. You have bore so much."

I allow my head to drop as tears begin to stream down my face.

"However", my head snaps back up, "you say that you do these things to protect your people but you are all one people. That is why she created the coalition, if she had protected her people the way you have, all of the people you are now protecting would be dead. You began to learn that and for a while you honoured that belief but after a while you lost your way and betrayed everything she stood for, how do you think she felt when she found out?"

"I'm sorry when she found out? She's gone, I loved her and she's gone."

"She was in the flame, imagine finding a new consciousness within Madi only to see you lose yourself when your people came back, you betrayed them and killed so many without reason."

"I.......I was only trying to protect Madi."

"No you fell back into your old pattern, kill or be killed, you could have worked with them rather than being too afraid to lose control that you kill everything that may be a threat."

"But I stopped, after Madi spoke to me, after finding out what Lexa was showing her I helped them. I have tried to do better"

"That does not change what you have done, yes you have attempting to be better but you always fall back into a destructive pattern. I am sorry but if you are humanity, then I am afraid that humanity is not worthy of taking the next step".

My heart instantly drops, I couldn't do it.

"It has been decided. Yu gonplei ste odon."

A bright light begins to grown from her face and the next second I am back in the stone room.....no.


	2. Chapter 2

(The rest of the finale will play out the same, everyone still transcends I am just changing the last scene when Clarke sees "Lexa" again. Only a couple of details are going to be changed but it will change everything).

I am riddled with utter despair, Picasso ran, I don't know where, everyone is gone.

"Please! I don't want to be alone!"

Silence, so I whisper once again, "I don't want to be alone."

"You're not."

This time I quickly turn around at the sound of her voice. I have already failed and lost everyone, what more could this 'judge' want from me?

"What do you want?"

"To explain."

She takes a few steps towards me so I turn and take a few steps but of course this doesn't deter her as she falls into step beside me.

"There's no need, I get it, I bear it so they don't have to. Again."

"Such a curious species, you have added so much to us already," I turn to face her and she glances at me, she is smiling and for a moment I believed it was my Lexa walking besides me. But as she once again turns her face away I remember that it can never happen, "I'm glad to have been wrong about you."

Hope suddenly flickers at my chest.

"Wait," she pauses in front of me, "does that mean you're here to take me with you?"

"No." 

At that my chest once again deflates.

"You can never join us Clarke, your actions must have a cost".

"Just mine?!"

I once again turn from her and continue walking as anger builds within me.

"Am I the only human being who ever sinned?"

"Of course not, but you are the only test subject from any species anywhere in the universe since the dawn of time who committed murder during the test."

"I'd do it again."

"I know you would, I know how much Madi means to you, and she knew you would as well."

My heart stops at the mention of her name and I have to know. I have to know that she is okay."

"Madi is with you then?"

"Her consciousness joined ours. Once someone transcends they are at peace, they never feel pain and they never die. She thought that you being here without someone her own age to love isn't something you would want for her."

At those words I instantly stop and turn to Lexa.

"Wait transcendence is a choice? You can choose to come back?"

"Of course, but until now no one ever had."

Until now? She can't mean? 

I instantly spin at the sound of laughter and the sight in front of me is something I never imagined possible. My friends came back. Raven is walking freely without her limp. Even Murphy is happy and smiling as he turns and sees me. 

I turn around once again to see Lexa smiling at Madi as she runs towards me, just behind her is one of the children of gabriel, Luca I think his name is. I can't help but laugh I catch her in my arms and hold her as tight as I can, not wanting to ever let go. 

"I love you too mom."

I drop to my knees so that I can see her face, I need to make sure she is real.

"I am so proud of you Madi, I love you so much".

She smiles, her watery eyes reflecting my own as she hugs me once more, this time she pulls away soon after.

"The judge is here aren't they?"

"Madi....how do you know that?"

"I know that they have something to explain to you once you knew we were back. I'm going to help everyone build, they understand that you will help later."

She hugs me once again and whispers, "thank you for protecting me". 

I can't do anything but watch as she grabs Luca's hand and smiles at me one last time as she walks away. 

I quickly wipe my tears and stand to face her.

"Thank you".

"It was not my doing Clarke, she wasn't ready to leave you and once she knew she would not be the only child her age, she made her own choice."

"But why did Luca come back? I don't even know him?"

"He was a child of Gabriel, he didn't want to risk being with 'false gods' and he did it for Madi too."

I nod in understanding with a slight smile on my face.

"So it there a reason you are still here? I am with my friends now what else could you want? Wait, is Bellamy here?"

"He is"

My breath quickly catches in my throat.

"How?!" I ask in disbelief, "I thought that the dead don't transcend?"

"Once Cadogan went back to Sanctum he found him almost dead and took him to be treated in Bardo, he was left in a coma. Cadogan didn't tell you because he wanted to treat him and use him against you, since his mind was still alive he transcended. He came back for his sister and Echo, he doesn't hate you Clarke but it will take time for him to truly transcend."

"I understand".

I can't believe that he is here, I never wanted to hurt him I just hope that I haven't completely lost my best friend.

"Clarke before I explain why I am still here you should understand there won't be any offspring and none of you will join us when you die, but they didn't seem to care. They were willing to make that sacrifice."

I take a sharp intake and can't stop a smile spreading across my face.

"Can I ask why you are still here?"

The judge allows a small smirk and looks to something behind her, I slowly step beside her to see a small figure walking towards us but they are too far away for me to see anything but their outline and once they see is they seem to stop.

I turn to her see she is watching me.

"I'm sorry I don't understand I thought I was the only human that couldn't transcend?"

"That is true and they did transcend but almost instantly chose to return."

I search my brain for anyone else that wouldn't want to transcend 

"Is it another child of Gabriel? I was told they were wiped out except from Luca?"

"No she was not a child of Gabriel.....she came back for you Clarke."

"I don't understand."

"Emori was able to transcend because her mind existed in the mind drive, therefore it stands to reason that any conscious mind can transcend. Did you really believe that Gabriel destroyed those minds in the flame?"

As realisation begins to dawn on me, my chest begins to constrict and the air is sucked from my lungs, I am too afraid to allow myself to hope so instead I turn to the figure to see her face once again, only this time her eyes are not empty but entirely familiar. I quickly turn to the judge, she smiles and continues.

"When the flame was removed from Madi the other commanders, including Lexa, were isolated onto the flame. Then Gabriel recovered the data, not all of the minds were recovered, the only complete minds were Lexa and Becca. Lexa's mind still existed on that computer, eventhough Becca chose to transcend, she instantly chose to return- for you Clarke."

I turned back to once again face my Lexa and this time I could completely see her, no warpaint or armour, a slight smile graced her lips, her hair free of braids and pulled to one side, exactly like the last time I truly saw her and I can't recall seeing a more beautiful sight.

"Please tell me I am not dreaming, please tell me this is real".

"This is real Clarke, there is no one left to fight, eventhough you have done terrible things , it doesn't mean that you are a terrible person because a lot of the time they were for good reasons. Although you can't transcend I believe you will find more peace here. You and Lexa overcame the final obstacle-death. Don't waste time again Clarke, you deserve this happiness."

I quickly look back to my left to thank her but she is gone. I allow myself to smile because she is right, I cannot afford to waste anymore time so I quickly look forward and let out a happy laugh, forcing my legs to speed towards her as a tear escapes my eye and she does the same. Once we meet our arms instantly tighten around each other and my head drops to her shoulder, with that I know that I am home. After several minutes we slowly pull our heads away, still holding eachother as I feel one of her hands lift to cup my cheek, both unable to break eye contact and still unable to stop smiling.

I slowly move forward to rest our foreheads together, praying that this moment will last forever. I let out a small chuckle and pull away slightly to look into her eyes that once again shine with love.

"I guess we finally got our someday".

Her smile instantly brightens as we both realise, we really do owe nothing more to our people and that feeling lifts us both higher than I ever thought possible. 

With tears in Lexa's eyes she whispers, "I told you that I would always be with you".

In this moment nothing else exists, not our people, not transcendence it is just us as we both slowly move forward to allow our lips to meet in a kiss that is filled with promise of a happy future.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't believe this is real, I can't believe you're here".

We eventually moved towards the water and sat down, still clinging to eachother's hands, not allowing any kind of space between us as we watch the sun slowly set over the water.

"Neither can I Clarke."

"It's okay if you aren't ready to answer but what do you remember? Do you still have all of your memories?"

I look up to see a flash of pain flicker in her eyes as she grips my hand tighter and meets my gaze.

"It's okay, I will tell you", she shuts her eyes to gather herself as she takes a deep breath in. "I remember us on earth, the day you walked into my tent, the day you saved me from the pauna everything. I.....I remember my death, how you held me in my last moments."

I subconsciously move closer to her and tighten my grip and she seems to notice as she squeezes my hand back.

"It's okay Clarke I am here now, I'm not going anywhere."

I look up to her and smile slightly, knowing that she is telling the truth.

"I remember saving you in the city of light. I do remember some parts of being in Madi's mind but that is a little faint. I have to tell you Clarke," she puts a finger under my chin so that I am facing her "I am so sorry, I tried to stop Sheidheda and protect her but suddenly everything went dark and I couldn't access her anymore, there was nothing. That is the last I can remember until feeling a warmth and transcending, you have no idea how happy I was when I found out both of you were okay".

My smile once again spreads across my face and a single tears falls down my cheek which she instantly wipes away as her smile reflects mine.

"You don't have to answer either but could you help fill in some of the blanks, I'm still confused how all of this happened."

"Of course, do you remember Madi leaving earth and arriving to sanctum?" she nods.

"I remember the explosion on earth yes".

"One of my friends Monty, he believed earth wasn't going to come back so he sent us to Sanctum and we got there after 150 years. I think Sheidheda isolated you and the other commanders shortly after we arrived there when Madi was seeing him."

"I think so too, I remember Madi getting to the new planet but after that nothing".

"Madi struggled a lot on our time in Sanctum because for a time she believed I was dead...."

"Wait," Lexa interrupts me with panic clear in her voice, "why would she believe that?"

I take a deep breath, knowing what I was about to say would upset her, knowing I almost died.

"The people already there, the primes, they found a way to live forever by uploading their entire minds to a drive, it was similar to the flame, they wiped the minds of their people and inserted their mind drives into their bodies, they did that to me too."

"I'm confused, please tell me I'm not dreaming that you are here."

I quickly reach up my hand to her cheek.

"Lexa it's okay, calm down I'm here, I'm okay I promise, just let me explain okay- I'm not going anywhere either just trust me"

"You know that I trust you Clarke."

I smile and give her a small nod as I once again rest against her side.

"They gave me the injection to wipe my mind as I was paralysed. A couple of days passed and I woke up back in my cell on the ark, but the walls were covered in my memories, it was the first time I got to see your face again, when you asked me to stay in Polis, it was there multiple times because it is one of my favourite memories."

I glance up at her to see her studying my face with that same small smile.

"I also got to see my dad, Maya and even Monty again as well as Alie. Luckily for me the chip that I had to take to enter the city of light when I had the flame interfered with the drug they had tried to wipe my mind with. The other mind that had taken over my body tried to get rid of me but as you know, I'm pretty stubborn when I want to be."

Lexa chuckles, "that is an understatement".

I chuckle with her.

"Eventually, someone called Gabriel took out the mind drive, I killed her in the mind space and Bellamy gave me CPR and brought me back to life. When I got back Sheidheda had pretty much taken control of her body. It took awhile but I got her back, however Raven had to destroy the flame because it was the only way to get rid of Sheidheda and save her. It broke me because I didn't know what happened to you in the flame, I thought you were gone."

I take another deep breath and feel her squeeze my hand in support.

"A couple of days ago, Gabriel tried to recover information on the flame using a device, but before it could be finished he shot the flame and I lost you all over again. I can't explain it to you all at once because not even I understand it but there are stones that allow us to travel to different planets and clearly earth was back. A certain code can be entered into this stone that takes us somewhere else to be judged and if the test is passed we transcend. I didn't pass but Raven and Octavia did it once Raven went in after me."

"A test? What was that like?"

"Well the judge said that I failed because I.....I killed a man during the test to try and stop it, he was the once that paralysed Madi. I thought she was going to die because of what he did and I just, I had to kill him".

I glance up to her and she gives me a reassuring smile, "I understand Clarke, Madi means everything to you I probably would have done the same."

She pauses until I give her a small nod.

"What was the judge like?"

"They were beautiful"

"Beautiful hmm".

She looks back towards the sunset and I grin slightly as I see jealousy cross her features.

"She appeared as you Lex."

Her eyes instantly snap back to mine at the response.

"She looked like me? Why?"

"Before I shot Cadogan the judge appeared as his daughter. They said the test subject choses who they appear as, it can be their greatest teacher, the source of their greatest failure or...." I lock eyes with her as I say this "or it could be their greatest love", once again the love shines bright in her eyes and I look back towards the setting sun.

"You looked exactly like the first day we met, your warpaint and pauldron with your red sash, the judge told me straight away that she wasn't really you eventhough she had your memories. Although it wasn't really you at the time, I was just glad to see and hear you again, I never dared to believe I ever could again."

A moments silence passes by and I once again feel her lift my chin and draw closer to place the softest, most loving kiss on my lips and slowly pulls away, "I love you too Clarke, always".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first fanfiction that I have really written so I'm not sure how good this will be. I miss the relationship between Clarke and Lexa and I've always been curious about Lexa without the burden of her people and how she would interact with the rest of the characters, I am especially excited about both Raven and Murphy interactions with Lexa. I am always open to suggestions about ideas for possible storylines.


	4. Chapter 4

The silence between us is peaceful, for the last hour no more words were needed, we were happy to just be there with each other, content to simply feel the others body heat. Unfortunately the sun had almost set and I knew I should thank everyone else for staying.

"We should probably go and join everyone else, they did give up their transcendence to be here".

"I guess we probably should but they all no doubt still hate me", as I look up to her however she is wearing a slight smirk so I understand she is not being completely serious. "I apologise that this sounds so morbid but who has survived? I have no idea who we are here with."

"Oh god sorry Lex I thought you'd know when you decided not to transcend. There is Murphy, I'm sure he doesn't hate you, he was one of the only people to comfort me after you died seeing as though he was in the room. Murphy is here with his girlfriend Emori, I didnt know her until after the city of light. Raven and Octavia are here as well as Levitt- he's Octavia's boyfriend, he lived on Bardo but he helped us after meeting Octavia. Miller and Jackson are here, they were skaikru but I dont think you ever met them.There is also Jordan and Hope- Jordan is Monty's son and Hope is Diyoza's daughter. Then Niylah she was trikru, she joined the group after praimfaya. Bellamy is here as well with his girlfriend echo- she was Azgeda- although Bellamy won't be very happy to see me since I shot him and almost killed him. Although the ones you'll be the happiest about is Indra and gaia."

I watch as a smile spreads across her face.

"Of course Indra survives, I'm sure she'll be surprised to see me. Bellamy will come around Clarke, he's here isn't he? Just give him time".

"I suppose you're right, there's only one way to find out".

I place a quick kiss on Lexa's cheek and stand up, holding my hand out to help her up and we begin walking towards the camp.

"Although I'm not sure my friends will recognise you at first Lex, they only saw you in armour and war paint"

She quickly stops, and faces me, instantly locking eyes.

"What if they don't accept me Clarke? They never forgave me for what I did at the mountain, they all just see me as the commander."

I quickly cup her cheek in reassurance

"They met the commander Lex not the real you. We have peace now, no more fighting, they will love you, just be yourself."

I watch her take a deep breath and nod and we continue towards the camp. After a couple of minutes we are standing a few metres away from them, some form of shelter has been created and everyone is sitting on some logs surrounding a fire and everyone looks so happy.

"Hey guys!"

One by one everyone turns to look and Raven quickly jogs to me to pull me into a hug, once she pulls away and sees Lexa, she turns to me seemingly confused, "Clarke where have you been and who is this I thought you were the only person that couldn't transcend?"

At the I can't help but laugh as Lexa also smirks, as the group surround us I realise only Indra has recognised her so far as the disbelief is very clear.

"I told you they wouldn't recognise you without the warpaint Lex", I turn to her as she smiles.

"Wait Lex? Warpaint? As in Lexa?"

"It's nice to see you again Raven, from what I remember you helped us in the city of life correct?"

"But.....how?"

Everyone has now gathered around us in a circle in shock, well everyone apart from Madi.

"Wait where is Madi and Luca?"

The next thing I know Indra is quick to grasp Lexa's arm, a smile now stretching across her face.

"It is good to see you again Heda."

"Indra please, it's Lexa, it is good to see you again too."

As they pull away Indra turns to me, "Madi and Luca went down by the water for a while they will be back soon."

"Lexa!" I turn to see Madi not too faraway. Once Lexa turns to her and smiles she begins running towards us and jumps straight into Lexa's arms who spins her around and falls to her knees. After a couple of minutes Madi pulls away with tears in her eyes and I am surprised to see a tear fall down Lexa's cheek as well. Lexa gently brushes Madi's tears away.

"I am so proud of you Madi, you were so brave, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from him better," Lexa flicks her eyes over to me quickly, "and thank you for taking care of her, we both know how stubborn she can be."

"Wow, that stings you two, I am not that stubborn."

Lexa smiles one last time at Madi and walks towards me, quickly kissing my cheek, "yes you are Clarke, there is no need to deny it but your stubborn nature got us all here so I guess it can come in use sometimes."

She has a point....

"I'm sorry am I dreaming because I am so confused and I am never confused about anything, what the hell is going on?" I look towards Raven at that statement and realise everyone is just as confused as Raven.

"Sorry, I better explain that, come on lets sit down, you're probably going to need it."

Once I sit I realise there isn't much space left, and Lexa is left standing, I smile to her and sit down on the sand, leaning back and stretching my legs so Lexa sits in front of me, leaning her back against my front. With this Madi decides to sit next to me, resting her head on my shoulder and placing a comforting hand over Lexa's and my heart completely melts.

"First everyone, thank you, when I first got here I thought I would be alone for the rest of time but this is like a dream to be here with all of you so thank you for everything. Bellamy, I am so sorry, you don't need to forgive me, I probably don't deserve it, if I could change what happened I would but I can't, I just need you to know how sorry I am."

A few eerie moments pass until he smirks slightly and puts his arm around Echo, "it's okay princess, I know I sounded crazy and was definitely acting a little crazy too.....I forgive you but I still need a little time."

I smile back at him, "I understand".

Suddenly, everyone turns to Murphy as he exclaims "Okay yes we're all sorry now if you would kindly tell us how someone that has been dead for over a hundred years, no offense, is miraculously alive and cuddled up to you and Madi."

I look down to see Lexa blushing at that comment, sadly Raven notices this, "Oh my god is the almighty commander blushing?! I am definitely dreaming", with this Lexa is quick to send her a playful glare.

"There are no commanders anymore Raven we are the only humans in the universe remember?" as I glare and stick out my tongue.

"Murphy's right I should probably explain."

"Definitely dreaming Reyes if she finally admits that I am right."

"Okay all of you shut up if you want me to explain. When I got here the judge appeared, which is when she lead me to all of you, once Madi left she stayed because she has something else to explain about one other person that transcended and decided to come back. She said that any mind that is active is able to transcend like Emori and Bellamy, even-though their bodies weren't conscious their minds were so they could transcend. Raven, when you 'destroyed' the flame to save Madi from Sheidheda it might have destroyed the device but it didn't destroy the information, Sheidheda's mind transferred from the computer to the mind drive that way. When Gabriel started to recover data from the flame, two minds were complete on the computer even after he shot it, Lexa and Becca. Technically, their minds downloaded to the computer so their minds still existed so when Raven and Octavia passed the test, both Lexa and Becca transcended with you. Becca decided to transcend but Lexa came back."

She looked up to me and smiles, "of course I came back for you", I smile and lean down to gently place a quick kiss on her lips and we both look around to take in everyone's reactions. Thankfully, they mostly consisted of joy, however I noticed a couple of hesitant expressions noticeably from Bellamy and skaikru, although I noticed that Niylah also shared this look as well as a little fear. Of course Lexa saw this and took the opportunity to calm them.

"I understand that not everyone trusts me, after what I did at Mount Weather I probably wouldn't trust me either. I was brought to Polis at the age of 5, I was taught everyday since then that I had to be ruthless for my people to survive, that any form of love was weakness. I made an awful, wrong decision at that mountain because I thought that I had to in order for my people to survive. I promise you that it is my deepest regret. I am not that person anymore, I came back for peace. I understand if you don't trust me now but I hope to earn it with time."

"What about me 'commander'?" 

We all look to Emori as she lifts her disfigured hand to show it to Lexa.

"I was called Friekdreina and left to die in the desert because of a law of the commander, how do you explain that."

"I did not create that law. I am sorry, I had just united the clans, I tried to have that law uplifted but I couldn't, none of the clan leaders would accept it. I swear to you I tried."

"Oh please you could have commanded itand they would have to listen to you. If it is really what you wanted you could have made it happen."

I can see slight anger starting to build up in both Lexa and my eyes and quickly grab her hand to try and calm down and she instantly squeezes back until she calmly answered, "the last time I tried to command a law to be the way I wanted, it got me killed."

At that Emori stills, shock clear on her face, I can see now that maybe I should speak to everyone alone and make sure that they understand the situation before things get out of hand. 

"Lex, Madi would you mind collecting some firewood. I imagine Madi has lots to tell you", I squeeze her hand once again. After a moment she turns and quickly kisses my cheek just to make sure I know she understands, "Of course, are you ready Madi?" I see her let out a sigh of annoyance at being left out of the conversation but Lexa simply smiles. "Luca can come and you can have a piggyback how's that?" Her face instantly lights up as she quickly leaps up onto Lexa's back, I'm guessing Lexa understands her desire to just be a child sometimes and I can't help but smile as I watch the three of them walk away. Eventually, I turn back to the group and look to Emori.

"It's true Emori, she hated the laws. The fleimkepa had the belief that all love is weakness so when I came along obviously he despised me cause he thought I was preventing her from executing her duty. Back when Pike was around, him and some of skaikru slaughtered a village that was sent to protect us, at first she sent for an army to kill everyone in Arkadia, in honesty she had every right to but I couldn't let my people die so we both agreed on jus nou drein jus daun because we wanted to achieve peace. He lost it after that, he beat Murphy in a room for days for information, when I was about to leave for Arkadia I found him tied up in my room and when I tried to free him, the fleimkepa pointed a gun at me and tried to shoot. He missed me but when Lexa ran in to try and save me, the bullet hit her instead." I look down and wipe away a stray tear that had started trickling down my cheek.

"It's true Emori", I snap my head up to see Murphy slightly smiling at me "she was killed because she tried to protect Clarke and her people because she didn't want to betray them again. I was there when she died and she is not the way she appeared to us, she was trying to do the right thing."

I lock eyes with him to smile and nod, I never thought Murphy would be the one to back me up.

"Look guys I understand if you struggle to trust her because really you don't know her, not the real her."

I look to Raven as she says, "well it's clear to see that you love her even after over 150 years apart, if you trust her then I do too, but just so you understand there will be a lot of teasing about commander heart eyes."

I can't help but laugh at that, "wow she will definitely hate that one."

"Good", she states with a smirk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so excited to write the reunion of Lexa and Indra and technically meeting of Lexa and Madi, I hope I did it justice! Really enjoyed writing this chapter. Let me know if there is any specific character interactions you would like to see the most. I will be exploring all of them eventually but not sure which to explore first. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

(Bellamy’s POV)

Wow, I can’t believe she thinks she has the right to just come here and everyone will suddenly accept her, I had to help kill my friends because of what she did, she was ruthless. I am still angry after walking away, though it is better to be angry away from everyone, I have to put up with her as well now apparently. I look down to see my knuckles turning white.

“Hey...”, I turn to see Echo looking at me with a worried expression.

“I can’t believe it! So what? She thinks I will accept her after what she did, whether she is still the commander or not she still did it!”

“Come on Bellamy you can’t be serious.”

With that I look at her in shock, “of course I’m serious she left us on that mountain to die.”

“She left you on that mountain to save her people, she did the exact thing you would have done for your people. They were about to kill every single grounder in that mountain if she didn’t, and that includes me, plus the countless others that would have been lost trying to get inside compared to 47 sky people. You don’t have to agree with her but she did what she felt was right, which is what every good leader would do!”

“How is abandoning people that helped you ‘whats right’?!”

“How is massacring countless people in their sleep ‘whats right’?! People that were there to protect you Bellamy! You heard Clarke she could have killed every sky member for that but she didn’t, she spared you and she lost her life for it!”

At that I have nothing left to say, although my head spins around when I hear her voice, "it's fine Echo, although if you have anything to say to me Bellamy speak now rather than hiding where you believe I cannot hear".

"You should have stayed dead Lexa, you should have payed for almost getting all of my friends killed."

As soon as those words leave my lips her head tilts and eyes darken, deep down I know that I am in the wrong but I can't admit it to myself. 

Lexa turns and smiles to Madi and Luca, "why don't you two and Echo join the others, I will be back soon."

Madi slowly nods, and eventually walks away, glaring at me as she walks away with Echo reluctantly following her.

(Switch to Lexa's POV)

I continue glaring at Bellamy for a few minutes, refusing to say anything, best to let him have this tantrum so we can all move on although what happened is not something I ever expected. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his hand quickly move and feel a sharp pain across the side of my face, I could have easily prevented his slap but I choose not to, better to let his true colours show.

"You aren't going to apologise?!"

"I do not have anything to apologise for Bellamy. Not to you or anyone else here. Do not try to hit me again, I let you have that one because you are not yourself but you will not get another chance."

"You are a monster! I had to kill my friends because you abandoned us, people I cared about and then what?! Clarke just stayed in Polis after you betrayed us, apparently because she 'loved' you, how did you have to manipulate her into that?!"

I can't help but growl at that, but still I force my anger down, refusing to give him the anger he so clearly wants.

"I saved my people Bellamy, I acted no differently than what you would have done, I sacrificed 47 sky people for hundreds of my people. I have no reason to apologise because I did nothing wrong, you can despise what I did on that mountain but you will get no apology from me, or anything that I did, it was in another lifetime, we all have a chance at peace here and you are wasting it on hatred."

"I wouldn't have abandoned people that helped me and left them to die!"

"But you did. You were the 13th clan, you had a chance at peace but you joined with Pike and killed hundreds of my sleeping people that were there to protect you for your own personal gain. From what I gather another of my villages were destroyed because you destroyed a radio so they had to use flares, burning it to the ground. Another 300 people were burned alive in a ring of fire and that is the only massacre I can understand because we were at war. But since you first landed you had brought nothing but destruction, if there had been any other commander, none of you would be alive."

"But I....."

"But nothing Bellamy. Do not forget I was in the flame whilst both Clarke and Madi had it in their heads. You have grown beyond this but you are not ready to admit that I am not in the wrong, right now you are acting like that same foolish boy that first landed on the ground so allow me to explain. You landed on Trikru lands, you burned one of my villages to the ground and the Finn boy killed 18 unarmed people and still I formed a treaty to help take down the mountain. It is true I abandoned the sky people but that was done to save hundreds of my people over less than 50 of yours. I allowed the sky people to join and become the thirteenth clan, it was Clarke's decision alone to stay in Polis and she does not do anything unless she wants to do it, still you decided to kill 300 sleeping warriors that were there to protect you, and I did not retaliate, I allowed you to live so that everyone would have a chance for peace and that is something that I died for. Just like you my people have always come first, I may not have liked the choice I made on that mountain but a good leader puts their people before themselves and that is what I did. You have absolutely no right or position to judge me. You convinced Madi to allow those prisoners to live on earth, you had grown since I was alive, you had learnt from your mistakes so why do you resort being so immature now? If it is an apology you want from me, I assure you, you will not get one."

I take one, small step towards him, "do not waste your peace with those that you love because you cannot let go of the past".

With that, I walk away and towards the water, removing my shoes and stepping into it. Despite the biting of the cold, I have always loved the water and right now I need to calm down, despite the calmness of my voice I was bubbling with rage after he slapped me and it takes every bit of strength I have to not turn and return the favour, I may not be the commander anymore but I will always have part of Heda inside my heart. Even through it's hardships, it made me who I am.

My anger quickly drains away as I feel two arms wrap around my waist from behind as she softly whispers, "what happened?"

"It's okay, he just let his anger take control, nothing I can't handle. Although, you should probably warn him, I still have the skills of the commander and I am very willing to prove that to him if he continues," I say this with a slight chuckle, but I should have known she could tell it wasn't all in humour.

I feel her slowly turn me around and cup my cheeks, as she lets out a gasp, although I can't bring myself to look up as I'm sure a black eye has started to form. I feel her hands leave my cheeks and look up to see her basically sprinting towards the rest of the group and I sigh, knowing I couldn't stop her even if I tried. At this I look back towards the shoreline and try to block out what I'm sure will be plenty of screaming to come.

CLARKE'S POV

"YOU HAD BETTER BE FREAKING KIDDING ME".

As I finally reach the group, everyone's head snaps up, except from Bellamy who is sitting with his head hung down. Raven quickly walks towards me and gently puts her hand up to my shoulder, stopping me from completely blowing up.

"Hold up, before you lose it explain why you're pissed."

"HE SLAPPED HER, YOU HAVE ABSOLOUTELY NO RIGHT!"

Raven quickly turns around, looking at him in shock and I turn around to see Madi, glaring at Bellamy as she quickly stands up and runs towards the shoreline, and as I notice afterwards, towards Lexa. "Can I talk to her Clarke?"

She turns to squint her eyes but once she notices I am being genuine, she quickly nods, with that I quickly walk in the direction that Madi had left.

(RAVEN'S POV)

As I slowly approach the two figures near the water, I see both Lexa and Madi hugging, Lexa holding her up. I never really knew her but I know how much Clarke loves her, that was clear with how heartbroken she was, so I want to get to know her, I just hope that she will allow it.

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt," both turn to see me as Lexa slowly lowers Madi.

"Madi, why don't you find Luca, I'm sure he doesn't want to be caught in the middle of a screaming match right now, I just need to talk to Lexa for a minute."

Madi first looks up to Lexa, and only leaves once she offers her a small smile so I also remove my shoes and stand beside her, staring out at the water.

After a few minutes of silence, I decide to start the conversation, "I never appreciated it before but earth really is beautiful."

Without looking beside me I hear her let out a small sigh, "if it's an apology you are looking for Raven you will be disappointed, you will not get one from me."

"You don't need to apologise Lexa," I look over to see slight confusion clear on her face as she meets my eye sight, "you have nothing to apologise for, not to me or anyone else here."

With that, she offers me a nod and a small smile, "I'm guessing he threw a fit about Mt Weather?"

"He did."

"Look......what went down on that mountain, it was rough but you aren't to blame for that, you saved your people just like we have done countless times, you were being a good leader. Since then I have learnt that that night was probably awful for you as well, it can't have been easy leaving the woman you love behind even though it was for the good of your people. Bellamy has no right to blame you but he will come around once some sense is knocked into him, from Clarke no doubt, she is on the war path right now."

I allow myself to smile as I hear her let out a chuckle.

"I'm not pretending that I know you Lexa because I don't, but I would like to, the sky people must have been hell for you when we first came here, and I'm sorry so many of your people were hurt because of us, but I want to move past that. We're about to start a whole new life and personally I am glad that you are here and I look forward to getting to know you."

"Me too Raven.....thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, I can be pretty annoying when I want to be commander heart-eyes."

"You know I could still kill you with my bare hands right?"

"Oh please I'm too amazing to kill, plus your smile says otherwise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised after the comments on last episode I made it seem that Lexa needed to apologise to everyone but that is absolutely not how I feel. Personally, Lexa had been trained to put her people first since a child and that is what she did at mount weather so she has nothing to apologise for. I am excited to explore the dynamics between the different characters and loved writing Lexa and Raven together so I will definitely continue to develop that relationship. Next chapter Bellamy and the rest of the group will have some sense screamed into them. I am most excited to write Lexa and Octavia together, Octavia always blamed and hated Lexa for TonDC but she has grown as a leader and a person since then so their interactions will have changed. Thank you everyone for reading and commenting, I love seeing people's different viewpoints and opinions on what I write.


	6. Chapter 6

CLARKE'S POV

"Start talking Bellamy, right now. What the hell did you do".

"He told her that she should have stayed dead", I spin to see Madi staring at Bellamy with a coldness in her eyes "then he slapped her. He still blames her for Mt Weather and accused her of manipulating you into loving her and staying in Polis".

"You heard all of this Madi?"

"Yes, she wanted me to come straight back but he was angry, I didn't want to leave her alone"

I quickly spin around to glare at Bellamy.

"She protected her people at Mt weather, nothing more or less, she made the right decision for her people. How dare you."

"Look I was angry okay, I wasn't thinking straight"

"THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY!"

Out of the corner of my eye I see Octavia walk to Bellamy, stopping just in front of him and slapping him and still he does nothing.

"Your anger has always been your weakness Bell, she was a good leader, her people came first. That was a different lifetime you need to move on. Stay away from her until you understand that, she owes no one here an apology, especially not you."

I quickly take in the people around us and release that Levitt is missing.

"Where is Levitt?"

LEXA'S POV

"Hi, sorry I didnt get a chance to meet you before, I'm Levitt"

I turn around to see a tall man with dark hair, and take his outstretched arm

"Hello, I'm Lexa, you're here with Octavia if I remember correctly?"

"I know and yes I am".

I turn my head slightly confused.

"Sorry, that sounded strange, I have been through Octavia's memories back on Bardo. Obviously she didn't spend much time with you but I saw the mighty Heda in action once she had landed."

I smile slightly, unsure how to respond to that.

"She regrets it you know. The way she acted I mean. She had to step into a leader role after praimfaya and she learnt the difficulties of being a leader that way and she eventually understood your actions, she regrets that she often made it more difficult for you."

"She was definitely stubborn, I'll give her that", I cant help but chuckle at that, "even through that, I admired her strong spirit."

"I appreciate that Lexa".

I look behind Levitt to see Octavia standing a few steps behind him

"I would still like to apologise, I was too hard on you, you did what was right for your people, I'm just sorry about Bellamy".

"Don't be, I saw him through Madi he has grown, his anger just got the best of him, but if he tries to slap me again he will not be able to walk for a week"

"I slapped him, he deserved it, I think he regrets it and will not be trying that again", she says with a slight chuckle and I smile back, "good, I am glad that you made it, like Levitt said I should have known you'd be too stubborn to die", she bursts out laughing at that.

"Absolutely, although I have been far too close to it for comfort numerous times".

"My curiosity is peaked, care to share?" She instantly perks an eyebrow at that.

"The most interesting would be the conclave I barely won", she quickly removes her shoes to step into the water next to me. "Just before Praimfaya there was a conclave, one representative for each clan fought to have control over the bunker, I wouldn't have survived if I had not alligned with King Roan. I came close to being killed by Luna kom floukru a couple of times."

I can't help but interrupt as soon as it begins to click, "Wait Luna? As in Luna the natblida?"

"Yep, the natblida, she went a little crazy, everyone in floukru was dead so she fought for no one to enter the bunker, she wanted everyone to die instead".

"Wow.....is there a reason why she went 'crazy'?"

"I think so but I wasn't there, Clarke or Raven were, they can explain it better than me."

We stay in silence for a few minutes.

"I am slightly confused, if you won the conclave how is that Indra is alive? That people belonging to other clans were alive?"

"I honoured your coalition in a way, I gave 100 places to each clan, I could not only save people from skaikru."

I instantly find myself smiling with pride, "thank you", with this she turns and returns my smile, lifting her forearm and I clasp it.

"Looks like we have company."

I turn at Levitt's words to see everyone but Bellamy walking towards us, although Madi is running ahead with her arms open, laughing as she jumps up to me and I quickly catch her, pulling her close.

My eyes flutter close as I feel her hand cup my cheek and thumb brush over my bruise, I slowly open my eyes to see her eyes filled with worry.

"I'm alright Madi."

"I hate him." 

"No you don't, he may be lost right now and angry but he is better than this, we both know it. You can dislike this version of him but he cares about you, you can help him find his way back. Just between you and me, I will be training tomorrow, he will no doubt challenge me and I can easily get him back for this little scratch." 

I can't help but smile as she smirks at me, however our smiles quickly vanish as we both gasp when we are hit with a wave of cold. I turn with Madi in my arms to see Clarke and Raven laughing at the shock on our faces, I instantly narrow my eyes at Clarke as she settles into a defiant stance.

"What's wrong commanders? Can't handle a little water?" I quickly shift Madi from my front to my back and run towards both as they scream and try to waddle further into the water.

Laughter easily escapes my lips as I hear Madi scream from my back "JUS DREIN JUS DAUN", this I can't help but pair with my own shout "KOM WAR".

I momentarily stop to observe the scene in front of me, everyone has removed their shoes and joined us in the water, all laughing and chasing after each other, even Indra is slightly growling as she continues to drench Octavia in water while the latter is trying to hide behind Hope. I can't help but allow a tear to escape my eye as I feel Clarke wrap her arms around my stomach, kissing my cheek as she does, "are you okay Lex?"

"I am, I just can't believe I'm really here".

"Neither can I, but we have the rest of our lives to get used to it."

I turn in her arms to kiss her deeply, taking solice in her warmth, and rest my forehead against hers.

"I love you so much Clarke"

"I lo-"

Her words are drowned as we feel water forcefully hit the side of our face and we turn to see Raven laughing manically. Once she catches her breath she shouts, "Come on Commander hearteyes I thought you were meant to be badass?"

I sigh and whisper in Clarke's ear, "can I kill her?" with this she chuckles.

"Unfortunately not".

"Ugh fine", I smirk and shout "if I can't kill her I guess I'll settle with kicking her ass".

"Wow Commander, 'kicking her ass' sounds so weird coming from your mouth".

Clarke fails at stifling a laugh, and my head snaps to her with shock evident on my face.

"Sorry babe but she's not wrong"

"All right I see how it is."

I grasp her legs, easily lifting her up and smirk, "I'm not sorry 'babe'", with that I fling her straight into the water smirking as she splashes and jumps up narrowing her eyes at me and I can't help but allow myself to laugh freely. However, this is short lived as I feel myself fall forwards as something is propelled onto my back. I quickly push myself into sitting, coughing as I reach the surface and turn to see Madi laughing just behind me, also hearing Clarke laughing just in front of me as she high fives Madi.

"That is betrayal of the highest form Madi".

This forces them to laugh even louder and eventually I can't stop myself chuckling along with them as I stand, lifting Madi and spinning her around hugging her as I pull Clarke in with us, feeling an impossible joy spread through every fibre of my being as I realise, I am finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise that this has taken so long to publish, I had most of this written a couple of weeks ago I'm just struggling a lot right now. I have been having an internal battle pretty much with my feelings for someone, it's not something I have ever really experienced so sometimes I struggle with how to handle it, therefore I haven't really been motivated to write more on a love story when I don't know what's happening with my own. I have also had a couple of family members ill and I have been pretty much drowning in college work whilst also having exams to take. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to publish.
> 
> Overall however, I have enjoyed writing this chapter, especially the water fight, it's something I have been thinking about since seeing the last scene of the 100 because a water fight would have been beautiful to see. Let me know what you think about this chapter in the comments and thank you everyone for reading!
> 
> I'm not completely sure where I want to go next with this story, it is clear some people have unresolved issues I'm just not sure how to go about solving them. I'm unsure what kind of scenes between Clarke and Lexa I want to go with or if I should even continue this story, so please comment if you would like me to continue and any particular scenes you would like to see if I do continue.


	7. Chapter 7

(CLARKE'S POV)

For a moment my senses are distorted as I slowly flutter my eyes open as they protest against the harsh sunlight. My muscles tense as I feel a tingling sensation against my cheek, tickling and move to reach my hand up only to release that both my hands are clutched towards someone's chest and their back pressed to my chest and quickly yesterday's events click into my mind, forcing me to smile and quickly bury my face into the nape of Lexa's neck.

"Good morning Clarke."

"Sorry I didn't wake you did I?"

She slowly turns in my arms to face me and the breath catches in my throat as her faces settles mere inches from mine.

"No, I've been awake for a while but you seemed so peaceful, I couldn't bring myself to wake you."

"I haven't felt peaceful in a long time."

"I would say the same but I'm not sure if death can be counted as peace or not." 

Although Lexa is smiling, clearly meaning it as a joke, my entire chest constricts and hands covered with black blood flash before my eyes.

"What's wrong Clarke?"

"You......you died. There was nothing I could do to save you even though it was my fault."

"You are not to blame Clarke, I should have known Titus would do something, Fleimkepas were known to be drastic, it is not the first time a commander has been killed by their Fleimkepa, although Sheidheda's death had reason."

"But if I had just-"

"Clarke please do not torture yourself with these, I died because Titus made a poor decision, because the people weren't ready or willing to accept unity. There is likely nothing either of us could have said to persuade him otherwise."

"I can't stop seeing it- black blood covering my hands as he carried you out of the room and away from me"

"I'm here now", she cups my cheek, stroking it as she leans in to place a tender kiss on my waiting lips, "we can replace them with new memories, happier memories because now we have time. It wasn't the right time for us before but it is now and nothing is going to stop me being happy here with you. We have our peace, we deserve to enjoy it. We can work past what goes through your head together because there is no way that I am leaving you again."

A tear slowly falls down my cheek, and for once it is a happy tear, one that Lexa gently kisses away.

"You're right, let's not waste it."

This causes her to lift an eyebrow as I smirk and gently roll on top of her, straddling her hips and pulling her in for a passionate kiss, ensuring that this time, we do not have to rush because there is no time limit for our love now, it's simply us.

(LEXA'S POV)

I step out of our makeshift tent, stretching my muscles out as I start into a slow jog taking note that I am the only one up. I steadily jog around the lake, still wary of pushing my body too much, and allow my mind to wonder 

Clarke's tears as she slowly leans down, kissing me goodbye

The loneliness of the city of light 

The peace knowing that Clarke was protected 

The awakening 

Seeing Clarke's changed face

The overpowering fear knowing that she was endangered

The urge to protect Madi

The longing to breathe once again simply to hold her once again

The darkness knowing that my family were endangered, both Clarke and Madi

The uncontained joy of once again knowing I can see her again

The gentle breeze on my skin yet all I could feel was warmth

I slowly notice the slight ache in my cheeks and realise I had barely stopped smiling since yesterday, it may have been more than I have ever smiled in my life, I am powerless to stop it.

Without realising I have already ran a lap around the lake and am back at our camp, people are slowly beginning to rise, though mostly walking endlessly. Apart from Octavia who seems to be wide awake.

"Good morning Octavia"

"Morning Lexa"

"I think it's time we find some dinner, do you have any weapons?"

"No, we weren't brought back with any"

"Okay I might be out of practise but we can probably make a simple bow and arrow until we can make something better."

*2 hours later

Me and Octavia finally arrive with two deers and a few rabbits with various vegetables and berries we found along the way. We arrive to find mostly everyone awake, mostly working on our makeshift tents although Echo was sparring with Bellamy who seems to still hold a lot of pent up anger.

Most stop when they see us carrying back food and breathe sighs of relief, we are instantly helped with the weight and they quickly get to work skinning and cooking the animal, all except Bellamy helping with the meal.

A couple of hours later, all of us had eaten our fill and I decided to begin sparring, first with Madi then with Echo. I found that I was slightly out of practise but I almost instantly picked it back up and the moves quickly began to feel natural once again. After a while I see almost everyone begin to crowd around us as me and echo twirl around eachother and I eventually pin her with my stick pointing towards her neck and she concedes and I hear a snicker from someone. I look up to see mostly everyone glaring at Bellamy, clearly revealing it came from him.

"Is there something you wish to share Bellamy?"

"You think that you're so tough Lexa? You are weak. Octavia united everyone yet you couldn't, you died so you are not as tough as you want everyone to think."

I clench my jaw at that, trying not to lose my temper and just kill him right there.

"Bellamy you better be-"

"It's okay Clarke, he can say what he wants, I can still hear his fear eventhough he is trying to mask it. It appears you are still angry with me Bellamy even after I allowed you to slap me, why?"

"Allowed me to slap you? No need to pretend Lexa, you were too weak to stop me, you know why, you will be nothing but a traitor in my eyes."

I step closer to him, never breaking eye contact.

"Would you like to test that theory?"

I look towards Echo and nod and with that she holds out her staff/ stick (I don't know what to call it but you get the idea) and for a moment he only stares it then clenches one fist as he grabs the staff with his other and takes a confident step towards me as I smirk.

This will be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise that this is quite a short chapter and it has taken so long to update. I have been struggling massively with my mental health lately as well as dealing with very difficult family circumstances. The second half I have just written and I am not going to lie I am a little tipsy so I'm hoping there won't be too may mistakes. I always gravitate to Clexa when I've had a little drink, I think it helps me understand my own feelings. Long story short I think I am slightly/ completely in love with someone and it's the first time I've ever really had true feelings for someone. Being someone with a troubled past it apparently comes with a lot of overthinking and insecurity so that's been rough.
> 
> I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and was finally able to get my first tattoo. I dedicated this to Lexa and will most likely add a picture of this to the next chapter, if you would like to see it! Anyways I am going to start the next chapter as I am quite excited to write the Lexa and Bellamy scene so hopefully it won't take too long to update again. As always thank you for reading! x


	8. Chapter 8

I closely watch Bellamy's feet, waiting for him to make a move, I see the tension in his right foot, and quickly duck to avoid his attack, jutting my elbow out to hit him hard in the ribs. This quick move leaves him shocked as I watch quickly turn, surprise clear on his face as I resettle into my stance.

"What? You didn't think I would take it easy on you did you? I trained to fight since the age of 5 if you were looking for an easy target then you have been severely mistaken."

His expression quickly hardens as he quickly gets back into his attack stance and attempts to disarm me, delivering jab after jab, though his resolve deteriorates rapidly as he realises that none of them are landing as I easily dodge attack after attack. With this his guard is let down and I take the opportunity to quickly serve a jab to the side then stomach and kick him onto his back, twirling the staff in my hand as I wait for him to get back up.

After a few seconds he slowly rises to face me once again, this time he throws his stick towards me , forcing me to step aside.

"You think you're so tough when all you are doing is hiding behind a weapon?"

"I don't think you would appreciate fighting me in hand-to-hand combat"

"Or maybe you know that you cannot win without your weapon"

I smirk.

"Maybe you are more stupid than I thought, as you wish."

I throw my staff to the side and settle into my fighting stance, fists raised and balanced.

I watch him as he releases something in resemblance to a growl as he rushes towards me blindl.

*10 minutes later 

I stand tall, watching as Bellamy barely rolls onto his side, spitting blood.

The fight ended quickly and easily, he fights blindly, mostly due to his anger, allowing me many openings as I effortlessly twist and turn away from his 'hits', easily jumping and twisting, throwing him to the floor time after time. His soul may be strong, as he did not know when to give up, although it was clear he had lost even before the fight had begun. 

"This is your final warning Bellamy, do not try anything like this again, you cannot beat me, you fight in anger for what you have lost, none of which falls on me. I understand you may feel frustrated but you need to control it, use it for something productive. I am not the commander anymore, despite this I have never been the monster you created in your mind to justify your own guilt. I also understand you need time to process what you have lost after blaming me for so long, but do not ever attempt to harm me or anyone here ever again or this time I will become that monster you fear."

Without looking at him I hastily s away and towards mine and Clarke's tent, I need to get my emotions back under control.

"Lexa...."

I can't allow myself to reply and continue staring at the floor as I am sat with my legs crossed. I see a flash of legs in my eyesight as she sits cross- legged in front of me and I force myself to look into her eyes and in that moment I am powerless to stop my eyes filling with tears.

After twenty minutes of me sobbing in Clarke's comforting arms, the tears finally begin to slow and I slowly lift my head from her chest as she wipes away my remaining tears.

"I'm sorry..."

"Never be sorry for having emotions Lex, everyone has them, sometimes they just become too much. Do you want to talk about it?"

I stayed silent from a few seconds and force myself to look into her eyes.

"I just.....is that how you saw me? As some cruel, ruthless monster. Is that how everyone saw me? I never wanted to be a monster but what if that's all they will ever see me as?"

"Oh Lex of course not. I'll admit you intimidated the hell out of me when I first saw you but that's not because I thought you were a monster but because I knew you were powerful. We were all scared kids that were completely new to any other kind of culture or people, we didn't know what to think. Even now every person here has changed since you died, Bellamy had too he's just throwing a temper tantrum because he wants someone to blame, he's most likely still in shock that I almost killed him. It is no excuse for his behaviour and if you decide to, I will support you if you choose to avoid him completely from now on but anyone that's still wary will come around, it will just take time for them to realise how amazing you are."

"It just hit me a little, seeing the hatred in Bellamy's eyes as he tried to fight me, I guess I was foolish to think that everything would be peaceful when I came back."

"Between us? Always. Plus there are already a few people that seem to really like you, Raven for example, though that may also have downsides as she apparently loves to make fun of you. Echo, Indra, Gaia, Octavia, Levitt and let's not forget that Madi absolutely adores you."

I can't help but chuckle at that.

"There have been plenty of times the people here have not cared for me either, I've probably had a screaming match with every single one of them at some point. We are going to have our happy life regardless of what others decide to think of us, I'm not letting anyone have control over our happiness anymore, we've earned this, I refuse to let it be ruined."

I can no longer think of any words to say so instead I crash into her lips, relaxing into the kiss, despite the slight saltiness I can still taste from my tears. Perhaps Clarke is right, perhaps it is finally time to choose happiness rather than dwell on what others say. I can't afford to have anymore regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really short chapter again because it has been almost two months since I have updated. I decided to try and take time away from everything to work on my mental health, I'm still not the greatest but I'm getting there and finally felt ready to start working on this again. I have a really exciting idea for next chapter so it's going to be quite a long one which is why this chapter is cut short.   
> Anyways thanks for reading!! I am going to start working on the next chapter so hopefully the update won't take as long as last time.


	9. Chapter 9

CLARKE'S POV:  
I slowly flicker my eyes open to find that Lexa has gone, we must have fallen asleep for a little while, I feel faint panic rise in my chest, although I note that there is no blood anywhere, I can't stop my mind from flickering to worry when I realise that she is not in my arms. I take a few breaths to calm myself and rationalise she has probably just woken and gone to train or help the camp. I quietly make my way out of the tent and stretch my arms, taking a quick look around and see the brown flick of Lexa's hair in the distance, looking out over the water so I quickly make my way towards her.  
"Hey, is everything okay?"  
I notice her jump which worries my slightly, she is always so aware of her surroundings.  
"Why didn't you wake me?"   
She doesn't answer for a few seconds.  
"I'm not sure", then quickly turns back away to face the water.  
"Have I done something wrong Lex?" I see her shoulders slump slightly.  
"No, you haven't, I'm sorry I guess I'm just a little tired."  
"We can go get some more sleep if you'd like?"  
"No that's okay, if I do I won't be able to sleep tonight, can we just sit here for a little while?"  
"Of course we can."  
We both sit comfortably in the sand, her resting gently on my side as I play with her hand.  
"Can I ask you something Clarke?"  
"Anything."  
"Were you with anyone after me? I don't mind if you did, I was gone after all I'm just curious."  
I take a large gulp and steady my breathing, I don't want to risk upsetting her but I also don't want to lie.  
"Yes, two."  
I pause for a second before I carry on.  
"The last was someone in Sanctum, I don't even remember his name to be honest, it was a one time thing that he used to paralyse me because I had nightblood but when he was found, he slit his throat. The other was.....Niylah."  
"Wait......is that the Niylah that is here with us?"  
"Yeah, that Niylah. I was with her a couple of times, once after mount weather before I was brought to Polis and the other was after the city of light. There were no feelings, a lot of the time she actually comforted me about you, do you remember the picture I drew of you in Polis?"  
"How could I forget."  
"I had that up on my wall so that I could see you every day, she was one of the only ones that comforted me after you died, she helped me grieve."  
"I may owe her a thanks in this case then."  
I chuckle a little.  
"Why did you want to know?"  
"I'm not sure to be honest I just couldn't stop thinking about it so I thought it best to ask."  
"Can I ask you something Lex?"  
"Go ahead."  
"Can you tell me more about your childhood growing up on the ground, you've never really spoken about it much, like what was Anya like?"  
"She was more than just a mentor to me, she was everything, she took me in as a scrawny kid because I liked to act up so no one else wanted me but Anya did, she believed in me even when I didn't"  
"Woah wait a second, you? Acting up? Explain."  
She chuckles a little and continues.  
"Oh yes, I'm pretty sure Anya contemplated killing me a few times. She was trying to train me to ride a horse, which I was good at but hated, so I kept pretending to fall off so she would hopefully get bored of teaching it, when I realised she wouldn't I led the horse over to a muddy patch and got it to kick up it's hind legs so she was absolutely covered in dirt, to say she was angry was definitely an understatement."  
"Wow, I'm pretty sure she slapped me with mud at one point. Any other stories?"  
"Eventually of course, she caught on to what I was trying to do so she made sure she got her payback, for a whole month she woke me up just before dawn with a huge bucket of freezing cold water. After a while, I started making sure I woke up earlier so that she couldn't, instead I climbed a tree so when she came looking for me I started throwing things down on her, of course after she pretty much dragged me down by the hair, that part wasn't so fun but it was worth it. Oh one, time I snuck into her room and got the majority of her clothes, and found something pink to dye it with, for a while she couldn't get anything else so pretty much the entire village got a good laugh out of that one. I loved annoying her and she loved embarrassing me but I was so glad when she decided to move into Polis for a while when I had to begin natblida training there, I'm not sure how I would have fared without her."  
"I can definitely imagine Anya chasing after mini you, that would be an amazing sight to see, maybe I should try some of these little tricks on you sometime."  
"If you ever want sex again, I would not recommend it."  
"Wow that's very forward of you."  
I lean forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips, but move away when I realise she has gone completely stiff.  
"I'm sorry did I do something wrong".  
I stare confused into her dazzled eyes when I hear footsteps just to the side of me.  
"Clarke what are you doing?"  
I quickly spin me head to the side to see........Lexa?!?!  
"Wha-?"  
I move my head back in front of me and to the side, seeing Lexa in both places, each with an equally shocked expression.  
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"  
"I just left for a moment to get some water and when I came back you were gone, I waited for a little and come looking for you, is everything okay? I thought I heard you talking to yourself."  
My head quickly snaps to the Lexa still stood up, "so you can't see them?"  
"See who Clarke? Should I be worried? Do I need to get someone?"  
I take a moment to process then quickly stand up and back away, staring at Lexa still on the floor, only now she is smirking at me.  
"YOU'RE THE BLOODY JUDGE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"   
Lexa then rushes to my side as the judge slowly stands, dusting themselves off.  
"Clarke what are you talking about?"  
"Please show yourself so that my girlfriend doesn't think I've lost my damn mind".  
The judge rolls her eyes but with Lexa's shocked expression, I can see she has done it anyway.  
"What the hell were you doing pretending to be Lexa?! That is a complete invasion of both of our privacies, what is wrong with you?!"  
"Really? I thought you would enjoy some embarrassing Lexa stories, there are still plenty more to tell."  
Lexa frantically searches my eyes , "Wait what? What did you tell her?!"  
"It wasn't embarrassing Lex they were cute, they told me about some stories of you and Anya. But that is besides the point, it was not your place!"  
"Sorry, couldn't help myself, you're a good kisser by the way," she adds with a little wink.  
"Clarke it will be weird to be killing someone that looks like me but if they try to kiss you again, I swear I will do it."  
"Oh I know you will, I have all your memories remember? I just had to come watch all this unravel myself, it's like watching a show."  
"What do you mean?"  
"What on earth is a show?"  
"Oh come on, Bellamy acting like a child? You pretty much enabling it, do you think Lexa would have let Bellamy even try to hurt you but you stood by and watched."  
As the realisation sets in my mind, I slowly lower my head.  
"I was the commander, that fight was nothing."  
I look up and the judge is staring it me expectantly, so I sigh and grip both of her hands.  
"But that's not the point Lex, I should have shut him down as soon as he even raised his voice, I just let my guilt for almost killing him overcloud that. It's right you would have stopped him if it were me. I'm sorry, I promise I will handle him next time. This is supposed to be a new happy life for all of us here and Bellamy is ruining that, I won't let him anymore, I promise." 

LEXA'S POV:  
I feel a sudden unexpected weight lift from my chest at those words, a weight I didn't even realise was there until it wasn't. I smile and gently lean forward to place a delicate kiss on her lips, a kiss that told her, I understand.  
"We're all adjusting here Clarke, especially us, you technically haven't seen me in over 100 years, it's going to take time but we're going to get there. I think we both need to work on our communication, neither of us was the greatest at it last time."  
She chuckles lightly, and smiles both of us completely lost in the moment until we hear a cough next to us.  
"Okay this is cute at all but don't forget about me."  
"Is there a reason why you are here or was it just to annoy me?"  
"Well I can always appear as your subject of choosing Lexa, it could be fun to have all of Clarke's embarrassing stories to so I can choose which one to annoy."  
"As much as I would like that, you have invaded our privacy enough, why are you really here?"  
"As much as I enjoy eternal peace I have had it for hundreds of years, it can get pretty boring, your species is the most interesting I have ever met, plus I'm kind of rooting for you two. No one has ever reacted so strongly to their subject of choosing before, it was a little overwhelming experiencing the amount of happiness Clarke felt at just being able to see your face again. I might come by every so often, this is the most interesting thing I have seen for a long time, but I promise no more pretending and no more stories, I will tell you it's me if I do."  
Me and Clarke both share a look and after a while she gives me a single nod.  
"Fine but if you try to pretend to be one of us, I swear that you will regret it."  
"Although I wouldn't be opposed to you messing with the others at some point.......that may be good entertainment."  
"Maybe I will."  
All three of us then share a chuckle and instead all sat down to talk for a while, perhaps this judge isn't so bad after all.

2 hours later

The judge left after a while, not being able to stay for too long and we headed back to camp, cuddling together besides a fire, laughing with Raven, Octavia and Indra.  
I can't help but think back to this morning, for some reason I can't seem to forget the hatred in his eyes. A few minutes later, Madi grabs my hand and pulls me over to the water..  
"Are you okay?"  
"I am fine Madi, I promise."  
"I saw Bellamy after the fight..... he still looks so angry it scared me a little. I saw him walk off into the trees, he was looking for something and when he came back he had something shiny hiding in his pants, I didn't get to see it properly but I think it was a knife."  
"Are you sure Madi?"   
Panic instantly settles in my stomach, as I realise I left Clarke alone, where the hell did he even get a damn blade.  
"I think so, I just wanted to warn you."  
"Okay I need you to do something for me, okay?"  
"Okay."  
"I'm going to go back first, I'll find him, I'm going to lead him away from camp, if he has one I don't want him to wave one around in the camp where he will put everyone in danger, not everyone here can protect themselves. Once he's following me I want you to find Clarke and tell her, get her, Octavia, Echo, Indra and anyone else that knows to fight but I want you to stay here with Gaia and Luca okay, just in case."  
"But-"  
"No buts Madi, please. I can't put you in any possible danger, he is taller and has a lot more weight on you and I know that if he is trying to hurt me he might go for you and Clarke, he might not but I'm not risking it. He might just have it for hunting, we don't know but I promise you I'll be okay, I proved this morning he can't stand for more than 10 seconds with me."  
I quickly lift her up and pull her into a tight hug, kissing her cheek.   
"I'll be right back, I promise."  
I lower her down and give her a small smile, squeezing her hands before I stand and quickly make my way back up to the camp. I see Bellamy in the corner, emptily staring into the flames, so I sit besides him.  
"How are the bruises Bellamy?"  
"There are none Lexa" practically spitting my name.  
"We need to talk, I think I owe you an apology."  
"It's about time." he sneers and abruptly stands to walk away from the camp with me following behind him.  
He stops when we are eventually out of eyesight of the camp and despite me knowing I could beat him easily, I can't stop uneasiness rising in my chest, either way I know I need to get him to expose the blade if he has one, might as well have some fun with it.  
"So?"  
"So what Bellamy?"  
"I'm waiting for my apology, what do you fucking think?!"  
"You must have misunderstood me, I meant I think you owe me an apology."  
"You had better be kidding me."  
"I have nothing to apologise for, you instigated all of this, you tried to fight me, which was quite amusing I might add. When I first got here I apologised to try and keep the peace, but do not be mistaken I have no reason to apologise to anyone here."  
"No one wants you here Lexa, you should have stayed dead, things were better that way."  
"Is that why you went looking for a blade? We proved this morning that you can't stay on your feet for longer than 10 seconds against me so why even try?"  
He quickly grabs the blade from behind him and threateningly points it towards me.  
"This isn't going to be like this morning, you don't have your little friends watching, you have no weapons, you are nothing."  
"Don't."  
I feel anger quickly rising in my chest.  
"Don't what? Tell the truth? Clarke got over you last time, she can easily do it again, Madi is just a child she will forget. Now I am going to set things right, you've been dead for over a century now, I'm sure you will quickly get used to it again."  
He quickly jabs the blade towards my stomach as I dodge, he delivers jab after jab as I quickly twist and turn. I notice an opening and quickly take it, kicking the blade from his hand and away from him, quickly pushing him to the ground and kneeling on his back preventing him from moving.  
"I see I have struck a nerve, perhaps you've finally realised I am speaking the truth."  
"Stop talking."  
"Maybe Clarke will be upset for a while, Madi too but after all I have ways of shutting them up without you around to try and stop me."  
"I said stop!"  
He takes my moment of anger, to quickly spin, elbowing me on my cheek and sending me completely dizzy so he quickly grabs the blade, pushing it against my neck and keeping his knee pushing into my stomach.  
"Who's gloating now bitch."  
"You won't touch them."  
"You don't get a say anymore, you won't be around to watch."  
I feel an involuntary tear slowly make it's way down my cheek, gathering my strength to push him away from me.......but I never get a chance to as the weight is quickly lifted, the pressure on my stomach instantly gone. I quickly jump to my feet, locking my eyes to wear he is laid, shocked on the floor. He is staring at the figure, shaking in front of him.....Clarke.  
I turn as I hear quick footsteps besides me to see the rest of the camp apart from Madi, Luca and Gaia rush towards us.   
Octavia and Indra are the first to make it to me.  
"Lexa what happened?"  
"He went looking for a blade earlier, he had it to my throat before Clarke got here, he threatened to hurt Clarke and Madi too."  
I quickly notice the growing anger in Indra's eyes and barely a second later she leaps on him, punching him swiftly in the jaw.   
I slowly walk to Clarke and softly grip her hand, as she turns to me with her eyes wide, and lifts her finger to the small cut, on the side of my neck.  
"I'm so sorry are you okay?"  
"I think so."  
"Why don't you go join Madi, Luca and Gaia she was in hysterics when she told me."  
"But-"  
"No buts Lex, I told you I would handle it and I will, he attacked you I won't give him that chance again, I have everyone here he can't touch anyone plus I'm pretty sure he'll be knocked for a while after that punch."  
I chuckle a little and slowly nod, leaning forward to place a light kiss on her cheek.  
"I love you, be careful."  
"I love you too Lex."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter absolutely pained me to write but I felt like it was necessary for everyone to realise just how out of order they are being and finally take some damn responsibility. So I would like the readers opinions on where to go with this because I'm not 100% sure, I was going to write it into this chapter but it became a long chapter already. I am leaning more towards one idea but I would like everyone else's opinion before I decide.  
> Idea 1: Bellamy dies/is killed.  
> Idea 2: They decide to banish Bellamy for now (kind of like what happened with Murphy in season 1).  
> I will be writing the next chapter soon, it will definitely be emotional because whatever the decision is Lexa will finally be getting some apologies and have others protecting her for once.
> 
> Side note: I'm kind of thinking about making the judge a new character that just comes in every so often, I think it could be a good way to further explore their origins and other tests that have taken place, let me know if that's something you would be interested in.   
> Once again, thank you for reading!


End file.
